Lana's Song

Lana is an orphan in Ukraine. Not a true orphan I guess; more of a "social orphan". As best as I could learn, she has a Mother and maybe an Aunt that visits her and her younger sibling and older brother who also live at the orphanage. On the one hand, you look at a kid like this and think 'how in the world could a parent give up such a precious child'? But on the other hand...maybe the Mother did the most loving thing she could do.

The fact remains nevertheless, that the kids that grow up in orphanages in Ukraine and in so many other places around the world have the deck stacked against them in so many ways. It may be better than nothing; it may be better than living at home where the mother is apparently unable to care for her. But the chances this kid has in life are slim at best.

Lana became my friend during a Camp here in Ukraine. At times it seemed like she liked playing with my Ipod or my Telephone more than she liked me. She pouted when I said "no". She got jealous when I gave attention to other kids. But time and again she sought me out to hold her hand while walking across campus. She would take me everywhere and tell the other kids "he understands a little Russian" (in Russian, of course!). Sometimes we were able to communicate with my childlike Russian abilities. And then there were times when it was OK not to say anything and we would just stare into one another's eyes.

It was during one of those moments when I was "inspired" to write a song. Understand...I've tried to write songs before and I've never...NEVER...been able to do it. But later that night, this one came to me. It's long and it's probably still a work in progress. The music is still pretty one-dimensional and needs some work. But here it is:

Today we laughed and we played
you were running after me
I wasn't trying to get away.
And as we grew tired
you climbed up on my knees
I was looking down at you
You were looking up at me.

And when I look in your eyes
this is what I see
I see a wounded little heart asking questions of me
Will I leave you like the others?
Will I forget what I see?
Will I remember your name?
Will I remember your needs?

When I look into your eyes
this is what I see
I see sweet little Jesus looking back at me.
I see doubts and fears
I see pain and needs
I see your longing for a family
I see your hopes and your dreams.

And as I stared deep into
the windows of your soul
the thought occurred to me that you were thinking too.

When you look in my eyes
I wonder what you see?
Is it a reflection of Jesus deep inside of me.
Do you see my Father's Heart?
Do you see the emptiness?
Me without you is as lonely as it gets.
Do you know the price I'd pay, to hold you in my arms.
Do you know how much I love you?
Do you know how much I see?

And then I started thinkin'
'bout how we're the same
I was once an orphaned soul
lookin' for my place.

Jesus when you look in my eyes
do you see what I see?
My doubts and fears, my pain and my needs?
Do you see me longing for a family?
Do you know my hopes and dreams?
Will you hold me in your arms and never let me go?

As surely as I sit here
you revealed your truth to me.
You opened up my eyes so that I could see.

Jesus, when I look in your eyes
this is what I see.
I see a Father's Heart embracing me.
I see love and forgiveness
I feel your tenderness
I know you're my redeemer, I know the price you paid.
I know you as a Daddy and I know you as a King.
You gave me your heart and your eyes to see.

Jesus when I look in your eyes
this is what I see
I see a Father's Heart embracing me.