Haiti. Money.

Haiti. The Earthquake.

When I first heard of the earthquake and it's magnitude I knew it would be devastating. Those first few hours I was either in a car or at a friends house watching an "Office" marathon...effectively a news blackout. It wasn't until later that night that I finally started seeing reports and images.

I spent the following evening glued to the television watching rebroadcast and live reports from that first full day after the catastrophic event. Here is some of what I wrote in my journal that night:

"I've prayed about children lying scared and hurt and separated from parents tonight. Many of them will never be reunited. I prayed about people lying trapped in the rubble hoping to be found in time but most of them will die slow, painful deaths.

Where is God in this? The answer is another question. God has a physical body here on earth. It's the body of Christ. So the answer to the question, "Where is God in this?" is... where is the Church in this?

The 2004 Tsunami. Katrina. Now Haiti. These are the great humanitarian efforts of our time. If we fail... if the church fails to show up, the the question will persist... "where is God?"

Growing up in Mississippi I had heard people talking about Hurricane Camille for 30+ years. I suppose people will be talking about Katrina 30 years from now. The difference is that no one (who was actually there!) can talk about Katrina without talking about the amazing response of the Church. The response and the witness of the Church IS the story and legacy of Katrina.

If the Church does what it is capable of, then the world will know there is a God. I believe it's the only hope Haitians have. Financial aid alone will not be enough for them to ever recover.

What should the "Church's" response be? Jesus said whatever we do to or for the least of these we've done unto Him. People in Haiti were already the "least of these" before the Earthquake. How much more so now? They are hungry, thirsty and naked among so many other things. How can we not feed and water and clothe them?

So I'm lying here in bed thinking about what I can do. I'm daydreaming about standing up in a Church business meeting and proposing that we give all our Building Fund money to help the people in Haiti. In my fantasy, I'm thinking how stupid it is for the local news to be reporting about how Jackson (Mississippi) has a temporary water shortage and you can drive to such and such location and workers will load your trunk or back seat with free water. You don't even have to get out of your car.

Meanwhile in Haiti, there is not water. There's no free drive-through. What an absurd contrast!

And then another thought popped in my mind. If I'm going to fantasize about being the lightening rod that spurs the church to forego it's building program in favor of giving to this immediate need, then maybe I need to give up "my" money too.

Truth is, I don't have much to give; in fact I'm in debt from living in Ukraine all last year. But I do have a significant amount of "ministry money"; money that many of you gave me to minister in Ukraine. I haven't been able to use it because I served independently last year and not with an organization. I can however direct the organization that's holding the money to give it to Haiti.

So I'm praying about doing that. Part of me feels no remorse- I want to save lives and invest in the Kingdom...and it really isn't my money anyway, right? But part of me is fearful because I'll be giving up my safety net for returning to Ukraine and I'm afraid I won't be as successful raising support again if I have the opportunity to return to Ukraine in a few months.

So...pray for me and with me. I want to be found faithful and I want to be a good steward. And I want to trust God.

PS- check out how Adventures in Missions is on the ground and ministering in Haiti

Thoughts on Defining Moments

I heard a "heartwarming" little story on a radio station this morning. The lady had been asked to sing the National Anthem at an Atlanta Braves Baseball game. Of course, you know what happened. She choked. No, literally...she coughed/choked on a word while singing the song.

Afterwards she received the applause of 40000 fans and pats on her back from her husband and friends. All she could think of though was how she blew one word/ one note. For days she beat herself up until she came to the realization that she hit 80 words and at least that many notes- perfectly. From that time forward she gave herself a break in the knowledge that she had been defining herself by the one bad moment instead of the 80 good ones.

My immediate reaction to her story was that I should give myself a break too and not define myself by one sin or one mistake or one blown judgement call.

But as I continued driving down the road I started thinking that... regardless of whatever positive attitude I can muster, the fact is that most of us are defined by our "defining moments".

Nobody remembers or even cares much what George Washington might have done on a day to day basis; he's remembered for Crossing the Delaware in the middle of the night or for braving the bitter cold of Valley Forge...you get the picture.

So...here I am somewhere in the middle. I'm in the middle of nowhere Mississippi helping my best friend in his Survey business. (I'm the genius that holds the red and white striped pole steady!). And maybe I'm between "defining moments" too. Time will tell.

One thing I think though is that most of us don't know when our "defining moments" will occur. I guess we just play the Boy Scout and put ourselves in a position to be prepared for when it happens. If I blow it I can still thank God for His grace and if I succeed then I can praise Him for His grace. Either way, he gets the glory.