Eight Years

It's no surprise that I was wide awake at 1:30 this morning. I'm a night owl to begin with but of course there's more to it than that.

About 1:30 this morning marked the 8th anniversary of Kim's passing.

Last night I lay in bed thinking about my current surroundings. I'm in Sochi, Russia. The Winter Olympics were held here a few weeks ago. The Winter Paralympics is happening right now. Everyday I ride a CableCar up a mountain where athletes are competing for medals.

I lay in bed last night thinking about a February or March 12 or so years ago when Kim and I took some of our high school seniors and some college kids snow skiing in Glorieta, NM.  Skiing was one of Kim's bucket-list items. She wasn't very good at it; neither was I. But she was so happy to be there and to try it. Truth be told, she probably would have been content just to travel there and back. She loved flying and we enjoyed going places together.

All this snow and winter sports reminds me of that week. I remember being afraid for her and being protective of her and feeling like a good husband because of my concern for her. I also remember the guys- David Redd and Cory Rodgers being equally protective of  her when we were on the slopes. I remember how well she loved Emily and Laura and how equally well they loved her.

Eight years sometimes feels like yesterday. Sometimes it feels like 100 years ago or like it never really happened. I wish I had more pictures of her; of us.

Not to change the subject but last night I read about an Orphanage in Crimea that had been commandeered by the Russian forces occupying Crimea. The kids were taken home by volunteers and orphanage workers.  If a shooting war starts next week in Ukraine there will be more orphans in both Ukraine and Russia. Even without a war, the current and foreseeable economic situation is going to make things worse for those kids.

Kim and I had an opportunity back in 2005 to spend a couple weekends with some Ukrainian Orphans that we're being hosted by friends in Birmingham. If not for her health condition I have no doubt we would have adopted.

Here's one of the few pictures I have with me right now- it's Kim and one of those kids in Birmingham.

This blog is everywhere.  Honestly, I feel numb. Maybe I'm always a little numb this time of the year. Five or six years ago I thought I'd probably marry again someday. Five or six years ago I thought maybe I'd still have kids someday. It could still happen but it seems less likely with each passing year and this day, March 12, marks the passing of years for me as much as my Birthday or New Years.

He gives and He takes away, still I will say Blessed be the name of The Lord!

If I were writing a screenplay about all this stuff....

I wrote the other day on Facebook that maybe leaders in Ukraine are a lot smarter than I am. They are exercising remarkable restraint against the provocations of a hostile foreign government that has illegally invaded their territory. I'm sure part of the reason is just the realization that bloodshed hurts everyone and their desire to keep diplomatic channels open.

In my heart I know the best action to take, especially from someone like me is to pray for a peaceful resolution, encourage others yo do the same, and minister comfort, reconciliation,and the Gospel when and where I can.  But part of me just wants to fight.

So maybe I'm not smart enough to lead a country (although I have beaten Risk at the expert level on my IPad countless times!)  But maybe I'm smart enough to write a good movie screenplay.  The climactic scene in the final 1/3 of the movie might look something like this:

The American President takes his place in front of international news media for an important announcement.  Think Bill Pullman from Independence Day or Harrison Ford from Air Force One.

He clears his throat and says: "Today I'd like to announce an historic meeting that will take place Friday. Almost 70 years ago the leaders of the free world gathered in Yalta to discuss re-drawing the map of Europe at the end of WW2. This Friday the PM from England, myself, and the President of Russia will meet again on those historic grounds for the same purpose. Actually, we forgot to invite Vlad, but if you're watching this on tv, feel free to come to the meeting. It will be in your best interest to do so. And actually, we won't be drawing any maps...we already did that. The map in question will look very familiar; it's the same map of Ukraine we've grown accustomed to these past 20 or so
years."

"The US and UK are guarantors of a treaty signed in Budapest to protect Ukraine's borders and sovereignty. The Acting President of Ukraine has invited us to Ukraine (unlike the bully who is there without an invitation) to enforce the treaty."

"Vlad has repeatedly suggested that their presence in the region is to protect their citizens.  Our Ukrainian partners are at this minute issuing a declaration that Dual Citizenship Passports are no longer allowed in Ukraine. You can be an ethnic whatever-in-the-world you want to be but if you're in Ukraine you can only be a citizen of one country. If you're a Russian National, then pack your bags and go home. This week. Before Friday. Failure to do so will result in confiscation of all assets and immediate and irrevocable expulsion.

"Vlad made it a rather big deal last week when he called for a Snap Military Drill to see how quickly
he could mobilize his forces.  Good job. You showed the world they can move quickly. That's a good thing because you'll have 24 hours following the close of Friday's meeting to withdraw all forces and hardware from Ukraine. This is not an empty threat. Beginning midday Saturday A-10 Warthogs will make scrap metal of every truck, tank, personnel carrier and riding lawnmower still in Ukraine."

"And as for the premise of protecting your naval base in Sevastopol; it is no longer yours. Your blatant disregard for Ukraine's sovereignty and that Budapest Agreement makes that lease agreement null and void effective immediately. If your ships and sailors aren't sailing out of Ukraine's water by Saturday afternoon we will sink them where they berth. If you interfere with our ships in international waters deployed to enforce this ultimatum then we will sink every ship you have in the Eastern Hemisphere.  We know your Subs are stealthy but you know we can make it dang hard to ever come up for breath!"

The final scene features Ukrainians at peace looking at social media and newspaper headlines of Maidan-like uprisings in virtually every quarter of the Federation.