Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Eight Years

It's no surprise that I was wide awake at 1:30 this morning. I'm a night owl to begin with but of course there's more to it than that.

About 1:30 this morning marked the 8th anniversary of Kim's passing.

Last night I lay in bed thinking about my current surroundings. I'm in Sochi, Russia. The Winter Olympics were held here a few weeks ago. The Winter Paralympics is happening right now. Everyday I ride a CableCar up a mountain where athletes are competing for medals.

I lay in bed last night thinking about a February or March 12 or so years ago when Kim and I took some of our high school seniors and some college kids snow skiing in Glorieta, NM.  Skiing was one of Kim's bucket-list items. She wasn't very good at it; neither was I. But she was so happy to be there and to try it. Truth be told, she probably would have been content just to travel there and back. She loved flying and we enjoyed going places together.

All this snow and winter sports reminds me of that week. I remember being afraid for her and being protective of her and feeling like a good husband because of my concern for her. I also remember the guys- David Redd and Cory Rodgers being equally protective of  her when we were on the slopes. I remember how well she loved Emily and Laura and how equally well they loved her.

Eight years sometimes feels like yesterday. Sometimes it feels like 100 years ago or like it never really happened. I wish I had more pictures of her; of us.

Not to change the subject but last night I read about an Orphanage in Crimea that had been commandeered by the Russian forces occupying Crimea. The kids were taken home by volunteers and orphanage workers.  If a shooting war starts next week in Ukraine there will be more orphans in both Ukraine and Russia. Even without a war, the current and foreseeable economic situation is going to make things worse for those kids.

Kim and I had an opportunity back in 2005 to spend a couple weekends with some Ukrainian Orphans that we're being hosted by friends in Birmingham. If not for her health condition I have no doubt we would have adopted.

Here's one of the few pictures I have with me right now- it's Kim and one of those kids in Birmingham.

This blog is everywhere.  Honestly, I feel numb. Maybe I'm always a little numb this time of the year. Five or six years ago I thought I'd probably marry again someday. Five or six years ago I thought maybe I'd still have kids someday. It could still happen but it seems less likely with each passing year and this day, March 12, marks the passing of years for me as much as my Birthday or New Years.

He gives and He takes away, still I will say Blessed be the name of The Lord!


Janet Tuttle said...

I love you, brother. My heart is with you today!

Kara Sanders said...

Beautiful words. Peace and blessings. John 14:27

Lubov Yazuta said...

My eyes full of tears. .. I have never known. . I'm so sorry. .God is with you and He is your Strength! Our life passes soo fast.. you will meet her soon..she is alive and safe with our Heavenly Father!

Faith said...

Beautiful tribute, Clinton! It was great to read this and get to know Kim better. You have walked through things the rest of us fear and you've come out stronger - it's so apparent in this post and when we're with you in person. Thinking of you, hope you're having a blast in Sochi. Look forward to the next time we see you!

Vickie (Clinton's sister) said...

Ahhh, little brother... i love you so much. You are my hero. She was my hero. God bless you and comfort you, fill your heart with calm and peace and hope, heal your hurts, lift your spirits, fill your life with love and wisdom, and purpose and joy...

Thuy said...

I love you, my dear friend. Your "everywhere blog" is perfect and honest; thank you for it. Praying for your heart, and for your peace. I know you're doing the same for me.

chadtheartist said...

i love your thoughts. I am praying for you. it was good to see you yesterday. keep up the good fight. stay in the race.