It looks like this has become a once-a-year blog. So much happening in the world right now but I woke up to an almost instant reminder of what day it is and I was flooded with memories.
Seeing that I'm 8 hours ahead of US Central Time here in Ukraine and I didn't wake up until after 9 am, that means I woke up just about the time when Kim died 14 years ago, in the early morning hours of March 12.
For some reason when I woke up this morning I was thinking about where I was during the first anniversary- one year after Kim died. I was on an uncomfortable bus all day long traveling from Antiqua, Guatemala to Guatemala City and then through El Salvador and Honduras to the Caribbean Coast of Nicaragua. We left early in the morning and arrived late that night. I remember sitting on the back of the bus in tears most of the day and then crying more when we finally got settled that night. I remember it being hot and humid on the bus and with the crying I was dehydrated. I remember touching my face and feeling salt on my face. Salt deposits on the skin are a common thing with someone that has Cystic Fibrosis so there was that reminder all day.
That first one- that was the hardest.
Life with Lena hasn't been hard. I wrote last year, and it's still true- that it seems like we've been married much longer than a year and half.
Life is strange. I have to wonder at people who live the life they planned because in my experience all the twists and turns seem to negate all the planning. I'll be 56 years old this year and Lena and I want a family. Obviously, there are some obstacles- some twists and turns. A lot of people would say that's what makes life interesting, fun even. I think you have to look for the fun and interesting though and if it turns out to be something other than what you thought it would be then you better be able to adjust or else you're going to be bitter and disappointed. Truth be told, if we knew about the twists and turns then we might just stay put and let fear and paralysis keep us from doing anything; it might even drive some people to end it all.
So. Faith. Faith is what enables me to keep moving forward; to do the next thing- hopefully the next right thing. Faith is what helps me see that my time with Kim was for my good, shaping me to be who and what I am today. By faith I trust that my time with her was for her good too.
Seeing that I'm 8 hours ahead of US Central Time here in Ukraine and I didn't wake up until after 9 am, that means I woke up just about the time when Kim died 14 years ago, in the early morning hours of March 12.
For some reason when I woke up this morning I was thinking about where I was during the first anniversary- one year after Kim died. I was on an uncomfortable bus all day long traveling from Antiqua, Guatemala to Guatemala City and then through El Salvador and Honduras to the Caribbean Coast of Nicaragua. We left early in the morning and arrived late that night. I remember sitting on the back of the bus in tears most of the day and then crying more when we finally got settled that night. I remember it being hot and humid on the bus and with the crying I was dehydrated. I remember touching my face and feeling salt on my face. Salt deposits on the skin are a common thing with someone that has Cystic Fibrosis so there was that reminder all day.
That first one- that was the hardest.
Life with Lena hasn't been hard. I wrote last year, and it's still true- that it seems like we've been married much longer than a year and half.
Life is strange. I have to wonder at people who live the life they planned because in my experience all the twists and turns seem to negate all the planning. I'll be 56 years old this year and Lena and I want a family. Obviously, there are some obstacles- some twists and turns. A lot of people would say that's what makes life interesting, fun even. I think you have to look for the fun and interesting though and if it turns out to be something other than what you thought it would be then you better be able to adjust or else you're going to be bitter and disappointed. Truth be told, if we knew about the twists and turns then we might just stay put and let fear and paralysis keep us from doing anything; it might even drive some people to end it all.
So. Faith. Faith is what enables me to keep moving forward; to do the next thing- hopefully the next right thing. Faith is what helps me see that my time with Kim was for my good, shaping me to be who and what I am today. By faith I trust that my time with her was for her good too.
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