Happy New Year!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I blogged.  Just like I couldn't believe it last night when I clicked on my blogsite and discovered that my webhost subscription had expired and my blogsite wasn't even up!  Fornutaely it's renewed for another year now...which seems especially appropriate seeing as how it's a "new" year!

So what's up?  New Year's Resolutions?  I haven't even thought about it.

A friend today said something about "how you bring in the new year is how you'll spend the new year".  If that's the case, I expect to sit in a recliner on my butt a lot.  I was with good friends and we had lots of good food...and we had fun playing Wii but mostly we sat around like old folks and watched the Weather Channel.  Wait.  I'm a lot closer to old folks now than I am to young folks!

I got to visit with a friend from Ukraine today.  Natasha just moved to the States to attend college in Texas.  We talked about my latest endeavor- which is (drum roll):

I am now a Missionary-in-Training with International Teams.  I will spend about 5 weeks in Chicago later this month and next in training/orientation.  I expressed to my friend that I'm really concerned about raising support.  The economy isn't what it used to be and frankly, my support base is dwindled. It's been 4 years now since I was on a church staff and had any kind of "home church" stability.  I've lived out-of-the-country more in the last 4 years than I have in-country.  But here's the thing: It's in God's hand right?  The doors seem to be opening for me to return to Ukraine (more or less indefinitely)- I have my mission appointment, I have some early expressions of financial support.  Why would God give me the opportunity without taking care of the support part?

One thing is certain: If I return to Ukraine it will be a God-thing.  Nothing I can take credit for and I think that's the way to go this New Year...or any year.

Here's a Cyber Monday Shopping Idea (and it's good all month long)

I bought some gifts online on Black Friday but before I could buy anything today- Cyber Monday- I got distracted.  In a good way.

Instead- I gave to a Cause.

My friend Tom Davis (He's the President of Children's HopeChest and author of a couple of my favorite books like Priceless and Scared), is raising money and awareness through a campaign called "Change Their Story".

The idea is that for the money I would normally spend on someone's Christmas gift I can "Change an Orphans Story".  And by blogging and Facebooking about it I can raise awareness that will also help "Change an Orphans Story".

I know it's a crazy time of year.  We spend money we don't have giving gifts to loved ones that really don't need anything.  On top of that it's a great time to give last-minute gifts to our church and other charities for tax purposes.  We're in a recession; money is tight.

I'm treating my donation like it's gift under the tree.  And for my part...I don't need anything for Christmas.  I'll be WITH my family; that's better than a new shirt or book or CD.  I'd rather have someone who would otherwise spend money to give me a gift give that money towards my $500.00 Goal through CHC; I'd rather you give a gift to protect an Orphan.

Would you consider joining me?  My $500.00 goal is a part of a greater goal of $10000.00 that will help protect Russian girls from being kidnapped and trafficked.  Now that's an awesome gift that can help "Change Their Story".

You can donate via Credit Card on my "Change Their Story" Page.

Lately

Lately.

Staffers are leaving left and right.  We're down to just 6 of us in the Staff House this week.  We have one more week of Participants arriving Monday.  The Lease on the Staff House runs out next month so we are trying to get rid of stuff (we donated our Bunk Beds to an orphanage).  We're probably taking our vehicles back to the Dominican Republic where they were bought.

It's a busy time.

Our Generator gave up the ghost last weekend.  You may remember that we had an electrical problem that necessitated taking ourselves off the City Grid and relying totally on the generator.  Then last weekend the generator threw a rod or something and punched a whole through the cast-iron block.  It's toast. 

The good news is that we had just fixed the electrical panel problem so we're back on the City Grid but it's sporadic at best.

Our Cook is finished after this week so we'll be preparing our own meals next week.  No more Beans and Rice I'm pretty sure.

The Staff that's still here has made the best of the sporadic electricity.  We've had several evenings without power and each time we've ended up sitting on the balcony talking about our time here in Haiti.


We've been recalling our favorite things:  Watching Thunderstorms sweep over the Mountains and stretch across the Bay.  Seeing people hold hands as they cross the streets- regardless of gender or age.  Smiling at children and seeing them light-up in response.  Hearing familiar old hymns from the neighborhood churches and Bible Studies at all hours of the day and night.  Having orphans climb all over you when you visit.  Making new friends from all over the States...and of course, new friends here in Haiti.  The overwhelming sense of joy among some of the most beaten-down people on the planet.

And some things I won't miss:  I'll be ok if I never hear a car horn again.  Traffic without lanes and signals.  A State Dept document says "Haitian Drivers adhere to no known international standards of driving" or something to that effect.  I won't miss spending a day doing something that would take an hour at home.  I won't miss working on a Diesel engine.  I won't miss the pollution/trash.  The overwhelming poverty.

Hate it or love it, I'll never forget what I've seen here.  I've driven from point A to point B almost every day and every day I see people by the thousands that I know have NOTHING.  I pass their "homes"- just tents and I can see inside.  I see NOTHING.  Not all of them mind you.  Some have nice homes...even by American standards.  But most do not.  So many of them lost it all in a matter of minutes.  Most of them are not spending their days cleaning up their lots and rebuilding... their decision every morning is this: "Do I clear the rubble that once was my home or do I find something for my family to eat today?".  Clearly, clearing rubble is a low priority for many of them.

I don't know what's next for me.  But I think I've done what I came here to do.

Short of Cash. It's a statement, not a question. Can you help?

So...I'm a little short of cash.

When I left for Haiti I thought I left enough money in the bank to cover my Car Insurance, Health Insurance, Child Support (take a breath...I sponsor a child through Compassion), and a Credit Card Payment.

Alas, I spent too much money buying new gear (lightweight clothing from REI, Water Filter, etc) before coming down here.

As you probably know, even though I'm serving with AIM this summer I'm not really on Staff and so I cannot offer you a way to receive a tax-deduction.

If you want to help me cover my bills over the next two months (July and August- I'll return to Mississippi August 25th), then really the only way to do that is to send money in care of my Dad who will deposit said money into my Hancock Bank Account from which I can pay my bills online.

You can send a Check to: Clinton White, in care of John White- Post Office Box 601, Mize, Mississippi 39116.

We're talking about $121.00 per month for Car Insurance and $38.00 for Compassion.  My Credit Card payment is about $30.00...so I need about $200.00 a month for 2 months...I left money with my Dad to cover Health Insurance for the summer.  I should get reimbursed at some point for my airline ticket to Haiti and that will knock the credit card back down.

How's Haiti?

A buddy of mine asked this profound question today, via Facebook..."How's Haiti?"

It's crazy.  I don't think I've ever been anywhere where I'm more affected by "the tyranny of the urgent"- those things that pop up that demand your attention and keep you from doing more important things.  When something pops up here it quickly becomes a major ordeal.  I suppose a lot of that is spiritual warfare.  The enemy can't be pleased with what's happening here.  It's hard and frustrating but being here seems very significant most of the time.

I could cite a lot of examples.  A day of important shopping is planned.  We have responsibilities to pick-up ministry supplies like food or lumber or concrete or whatever.  Then spur of the moment a vehicle won't start, or is overheating, or someone forgot to tell me they need a truck for some other purpose.  Suddenly the whole schedule is thrown off.

A kid gets sick on one of the sites and necessitates dropping everything to go to a hospital, which is an all day affair at best and often an overnight affair.

The Generator's Air Filter gets grossly clogged-up to the point where it won't run.  That necessitates a night without power and half a day of searching for the right part.

All that stuff is actually important.  It's of utmost importance that we take care of participants...that we get them to a doctor if they need to go.  It's really important to get parts to make the generator run or keeps the trucks going.  It's important to respond to a team that's running low on bread or water.  But anything that isn't planned for nearly shuts us down elsewhere.  The urgent knocks out the planned every time.

It's not that we aren't flexible- a word that anyone who's been on a Mission Trip is familiar with.  We're beyond flexible here.  We're Fluid.  We roll with the punches.  But the planned-for stuff is what we want to be about.  We want to be about serving our teams and serving our Haitian Church Partners.  We want to honor our meeting times with them.  We want to be timely in delivering ministry supplies.  We want to pick-up participants and deliver them at appointed times.  We want to be safe and smart.

AND we want to have some "margin" built in and the discernment to be able to be "Fluid" when we know the Holy Spirit is directing us beyond our "planned-for" stuff.  But when the Urgent comes, the margin is wasted and maybe too often so is the opportunity to join God in what He is doing.

I'm not one to see a demon behind every discordant note.  But you can't deny the spiritual warfare here.  I remember hearing somewhere this axiom: "If the devil can't make you sin, then he'll make you busy"!  It's a good thing to be busy with the "work" of ministry, but sometimes busy is the enemy of productivity and fruitfulness and intimacy with God.

Any Electrical Help Out There?

Attention All Electricians Out There!  I need some help here!

What you see to the left is the junction box for our Staff House?  If I have it right, the Main Power comes in on the Right Side.

We also have a Generator.  Somehow or another, there's a safety built in so that when the Main Power comes on (a few hours a day at random times) it doesn't affect our generator.

Ok..When the generator comes on, (I think the contraption on the Left), the little button on the contraption goes in and the contraption on the Right...that's a switch of some sort...a bridge-like thingy that closes the circuit and provides power for the house from the generator.

Now notice the next picture and my problem:

There should be a really heavy gauge wire from the top-right of the Left contraption to the top-left of the Switch on the Right.  Someone used wire that was way too small.  I suspect that as that wire got hot it eventually burned up the connection on the top-left post on the Switch.

Here's the Question:  What the heck kind of switch is this?  Could some other kind of switch work?

Can someone find something that will work and send it to us?  We have teams coming down every week and someone could bring us what we need.

Right now, we have disconnected the Main Power- we are completely off the Grid to avoid a conflict with our generator and the main power source...which means we are completely dependent on our generator.  That's gonna get expensive and it's a heck of a strain to run the whole house on it.

Let me know if you can help: email me at Clinton@clintonwhite.net

Happy 4th of July

This is my 2nd 4th of July overseas.  In 2007 we had Hamburgers and Hotdogs in Swaziland, Africa.  Last year of course I was at the Camp in Lugansk, Ukraine where we had an "American Breakfast" which was a fried egg on top of a bowl of Chili with a hotdog in it!

Over the last few years I've had the great privilege to meet and know people all over the world.  Today I've seen Facebook Statuses (Stati??) from friends celebrating the Fourth of July in Ukraine, Russian, South Africa, Korea, Peru, Guatemala and Cambodia.  That's crazy!

Today has been pretty low key so far.  We had an early morning Airport pick-up.  Later today I'll go with a local bus driver to pick-up 2 groups totaling 27 people.  Once we get them settled then I can enjoy the rest of the 4th of July with my fellow staffers.  I think we have Hotdogs and Watermelon.

BUT the big surprise for today was a special lunch.  One of our staffers, Toya, definitely has a "Momma/Cook" Gene and she cooked me a Steak with Garlic Mashed Potatoes and Fried Okra.  The steak was pretty tough but it was spicy and very tasty the way she cooked it (which was quite a fete by the way...she was basically cooking over an electric hot plate!)  

Mmmm

Saturday- Pizza Day

Another Saturday.

We've had "Pizza Night" every Saturday that I've been here.

The first 3 or 4 weeks we had Domino's.  Yes.  Domino's Pizza.  You know those Portable Trailer thingy's you might see at some sort of festival or carnival??  Well, some enterprising genius brought a Domino's Pizza Trailer over from the Dominican Republic (I assume this because the writing on the trailer is in Spanish) and parked it pretty much right next to the US Embassy and across the street from a UN Compound.  I said genius, right?

Anyway, for a mere $18.00 a pizza you too can eat like a youth group in Haiti.

Alas, a large contingent of US troops have left Haiti so the Dominoes packed it up and moved to a new location.

But we had Pizza anyway- we bought it from the Quebec Hotel here in Port Au Prince...cheaper and just as good.

So...Saturday...after dropping off all our teams at the Airport, we enjoyed Pizza Night...and Worship Night while the entire team is in the house.

One Month Down

Time does fly.  I've been in Haiti for a month already.  Right now I'm enjoying a day off- after waking early to get our transportation needs in order for the day and taking part in our daily morning devotions- I went back to sleep until lunch!  I'm trying to get in some reading and guitar playing and maybe watching a movie.  I was pretty whipped coming out of the weekend!

We continue to have daily vehicle problems.  We've had a van without a transmission ever since before I arrived.  We finally got it going last week but cranking it and driving it only revealed other problems.  I think the initial cause of the most of the problems is bad fuel combined with poor maintenance like changing filters, etc.  But now the problems are greater- likely fouled up injectors and sensors and the like.  We need a really good Diesel mechanic and maybe a portable code reader to get everything back in order.

Everyday is a juggling game in terms of who gets which vehicle.  We have a team that conducts Discipleship among local Pastors and they also coordinate a partnership between Haitian and non-Haitian Churches....this requires local travel 2-3 days a week.  Our Set-Up Team is constantly evaluating Ministry sites and homes where our teams live during the week...they need transportation to do that.  We have airport pick-ups and drop-offs as well as "lost-luggage" runs a few times a week.  We generally need to resupply our short-term teams with perishable food on Wednesdays.  If we provide any other supplies to the teams- like Food for a church or Building supplies- then we do that on Wednesday and Thursday.  Also Wednesday-Friday, we start planning for the next week so we make massive shopping runs.  Our Directors here need to visit local orphanages about once a week.  If a vehicle needs a part, we usually have to take the part we need off and then take it into the city to find a replacement, thus using 2 vehicles!  Finally, on Saturdays we have to make multiple airport runs for departing teams and on Sunday we make multiple airport pick-ups as well transport our Project Leadership teams and all the supplies they'll need for a week to their sites.

Having a "down" vehicle complicates the heck out of everything!

If we have more than 15 or so people departing or arriving then we usually hire a local bus-driver- here's what one of our airport pick-ups looked like yesterday morning with a team of 21 people:

Weekend

It's late Saturday night.  A little past my bedtime really.  Here's what my weekend looks like.

First a couple of definitions:
Project Leadership Team-A Project Leader and a few Support Staff that live at a Ministry Site with one of the Short Term Mission Teams.
Mission Team- usually a church group

Teams depart on Saturdays.  We had a small group of teenagers from Indianapolis with us all week in the Staff House.  They were great, I really enjoyed having them around.  They had to leave at 6 am this morning so I was up in time to see them off.

• At 7:30ish I made a "Water Run"- a trip to a local store to buy drinking water- about 130 gallons.
• At 8:30ish I picked up one of our Project Leadership Teams and a few Mission Team Members from  their ministry site.
• At 9:30ish I made another Water Run- stocking up...we need about 600 gallons for the Staff House and the two team houses this week.
• At noon I took the last two participants to the airport...and picked up Pizza at the Domino's trailer near the US Embassy.

Tonight one of the World Race Teams joined us for our weekly worship time which was preceded by Pizza and followed by Ice Cream!  After the party died down I talked Sarah into cutting my hair.  Pictures later.

In the morning I'll make an Airport run to pick up 8 incoming participants.  At the same time, two Project Leadership Teams will go to their ministry sites.  21 more participants will arrive after lunch and 2 more later in the day.  After my first airport run I'll continue to make Water Runs and disperse supplies and participants to the two Leadership Teams before making a final airport run.

All this assuming all the vehicles keep running and I don't get lost going to or from the airport!

Connections

Here's a couple of nice "Hey what are you doing here?" moments so far in Haiti.

When I arrived the first night I ran into Stacy.  Stacy was on my World Race Squad and I think this was the first time I had seen her since Nov 19, 2007.

She's here leading a World Race Relief Team for the month.

It was awesome running into her!

This story will take a few minutes but it's a good one. This is Debbie from Tupelo.  A few minutes after her arrival today we figured out that we share the obvious Mississippi Connection.

In the course of getting to know one another she mentioned one of her daughters whose name is Shannon...and a slight bell went off.

At some point she mentioned her daughter went to Ole Miss...a big bell went off.

Then she mentioned that her daughter is currently on The World Race because some guy spoke at the BSU about it.  The lights, the bells, the whistle's all went off.

That's when I asked her if she would believe that I was that guy that spoke back in Nov 08.  Shannon applied for The World Race less than a week after I spoke.

It was almost like a little family reunion.

Debbie and another World Race Parent are in town for the week which is a pretty awesome thing for a parent to do.

First Blog from Haiti

First blog from Haiti.  But where to begin?

Should I write about my first impressions?  About how the daily thundershower began right after I stepped out of the airport and I stood underneath a tarp roof for over an hour waiting on someone to pick me up.  Should I mention there were hundreds of us packed -in that stifling, confined space?

Should I write about what I saw and smelled riding in the back of the already beat-up Nissan Caravan on the way to the Staff House?  I saw the Tent Cities.  I saw crumbled buildings.  I saw tin-shacks seemingly stacked upon one another on a hillside- probably the worst living conditions I’ve ever seen.  And they didn’t pop up since the Earthquake… they pre-dated the Earthquake.  People were living like that well before the Earthquake.

I could write about NGO World.  Behind a fence near the airport are, I guess, thousands of workers with Non-Govt Organizations.  A lot of the NGO’s have really nice Mercedes trucks or Land Rovers or Pathfinders…and we’re struggling to keep our used Nissan Vans and Chevy Truck running. I could write about how the US Embassy appears to be the nicest building around and how there’s a Domino’s Pizza trailer just down the street from it. 

Should I write about the trash that is everywhere?    I don’t think there’s been any trash pick-up since January (and maybe not before then either!).  And when it rains (as it does every day), the roads coming down the hill onto the flat plain surrounding the port become rivers and gulleys washing down even more debris.  There seemed to be so much flotsam and jetsam that you could have walked on it across the flooded streets.  Today I drove for the first time- going up one of those hills felt more like driving up a riverbed- it was that rocky and water was flowing down all the way.

I could write about how it took 3 hours to drive 10 miles yesterday because of the rain, the traffic and the messed-up roads.

Or I could write about how this one lady in a neighborhood we’ve been ministering in this week (alongside a local Pastor) has turned her home into a school- taking in a dozen or so neighborhood kids!  About how appreciative they were for a small donation of crayons and stuff. 

I could write about the girl and her baby one of our Project Leaders took to the hospital yesterday.

I could write about running into some Southern Baptist Disaster Relief guys from Oklahoma today while buying 120 gallons of drinking water.

I could write about running into World Race friends down here or about the World Race Relief Team that arrived yesterday- 50 of them for one month- many who have never been on a mission trip before!

I could write about how awesome this week’s team is- a group from a church in Wisconsin along with 4 individuals working with them.

I could write about an amazing Staff here- about how diverse we are but about how much it seems everyone really desires this communal living arrangement.

I could write about Rice and Beans.  I could write A LOT about rice and beans!

I could write about the apparent stoicism of the Haitian people.  They can talk so matter-of-factly about losing loved ones in the Earthquake.

I could write about the way the Haitian believers have responded to the Earthquake- in repentance and dependence upon God- and about how, in the long run, all of these well-meaning Americans and the American Church (I’m one of them) may be here to learn something from them in preparation for times to come in America!

I could write about our Haitian Translators who are being discipled and who are discipling us too.  They are men-of-God bringing Kingdom to the Republic!

I could write about the beauty amidst the destruction- the port city of Port Au Prince is surrounded by the Caribbean Ocean and Mountains!

I just don’t know where to start.

Lana's Song...the Video

I blogged awhile back about a song I wrote this summer inspired by one of the kids at Camp Friendship. I guess it's called "Lana's Song: When I look in your eyes"...but really, it's dedicated to all the fatherless kids I've known.

I still think the music is pretty one-dimensional...and the vocals were kinda hurried. I created it the track with Audacity (a fun, free download).

Enjoy.

Fun Facts & Figures

I've been playing with receipts.
Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr, May, June, Jul, Aug

School $230, $220, $220, $220, $180, 0, 0, 0
Rent 350, 350, 300, 300, 300, 300, 0, 0
Eating Out* 15, 15, 100, 30, 48, 6, 23, 35
Groceries 47, ?, 36, 60, 37, 30, 15, 30
Gloria Jeans** 5, 0, 9, 32, 31, 12, 5, 5
Supplies 102, 250, 100, 0, 0, 200, 300, 0
Travel 0,0,300, 31, 65, 20, 180
Entertainment 0,0,0,0,26, 36,0,
Camp Fees 0,0,0,0,0,900,0,0

* Mostly McDonalds
** Closest thing to Starbucks in Ukraine

Some thoughts: I went to London in March for Spring Break...obviously blew the eating out and travel budget...but worth every penney!

Supplies: Bought a bed in January, a TV in Feb, a Printer in March, a Deep Fryer and ink and stuff in June and replaced my camera in July.

Traveling- March I flew to London, and in August I flew to Lugansk...all other travel expenses were by Train.

Eating out and Coffee expenses jumped in April and May when I was entertaining World Racers I think. Some of my supply cost might have been associated with them as well since I did some printing for them.

I probably spent $12.00 a month to keep my phone and maybe $5.00 on average for subway tokens.

I spent about $900.00 total as a contribution to Camp Friendship...to pay for my meals and lodging and Interpreter salary plus sponsoring some kids for the camp.

The list above doesn't include maintaining US Health Insurance (nearly $200.00 a month) and Overseas Insurance (about $60.00 a month Jan-June) or Vehicle Insurance on my Jeep.

This isn't an exhaustive list of what I spent, but it's in the ballpark.

Camp 3

My original plan was to go back to Mississippi 2-weeks ago. Instead, I postponed my flight home and returned to Camp Friendship.

The scene I'm about to describe on the last day of camp- this past Saturday- actually when Camp was officially over and all that was left was for kids to go home- illustrates why I went back. Why I stayed all summer.

Anastasia is a beautiful little 11 year old from nearby Lugansk. She lives with both parents and has an 18-year old brother. She's really bright. Plays Piano, dances, sings, draws, speaks a little English. She's a lot like so many other pre-teen girls. We met the very first day of Camp 1 and we hit it off immediately.
The last night of Camp 2 she got permission from her Dorm Parent to sit with me instead of with the girls from her dorm. She got one of the Interpreters to teach her how to tell me I was her best friend in English. I know I surprised her with I returned for the 3rd Camp.

Anyway, the "scene" I alluded to. This past Saturday morning I was out on the road telling other kids goodbye when I saw Nastya and her mother walking through the center of the Camp. We waved excitedly to one another but I noticed that they kept walking through the center and not up to the road. A few seconds later I thought, "I can't let it go at a wave, I want to hug her goodbye", so I started jogging down the road back toward the center of the camp. When I was about halfway down the road, she came running around the corner towards me, apparently having had the same thought as I. I got to meet her very gracious mother (pretty obvious that Nastya had told her all about me).

Anyway...we never had any terribly deep conversations...with or without interpreters. We threw the frisbee a lot. We played Checkers. During the last week of camp she came to me twice with an interpreter to pray. The last night she prayed one of the sweetest prayers I'ver ever heard for her family to become believers and for her friends to be serious in their faith. It was precious.

And that's why I stayed all summer. My 15-semester hours of RussianLanguage wasn't nearly enough to learn her life-story or explain to her the current tension between the emergent church and the institutional church (like I could, right?). But there was something of value in spending 2-weeks of my life (6 weeks with her and a few others) just loving and caring for her. Just being attentive and available. Hopefully, being Jesus with skin on.

In a quickly fading summer I hope the Nastya's and Natasha's and Dasha's and Tonya's and Lana's, the Dima's and Kolya's and Sasha's and Anton's all felt as much love from me and Jesus as I felt from them and for them.


(Pictured here is Anastasia and Natasha- Natasha was also a 3-camp-kid...at Camp Friendship all summer. She's from one of the local orphanages.)


Oh, and I'd be remiss not to mention the Interpreters. They were a great bunch of mostly 19-25 year olds that Shane (the Camp Director) has discipled and nurtured over the last 4 years. They were all great and I'm proud to call them my Ukrainian Friends.

Lana's Song

Lana is an orphan in Ukraine. Not a true orphan I guess; more of a "social orphan". As best as I could learn, she has a Mother and maybe an Aunt that visits her and her younger sibling and older brother who also live at the orphanage. On the one hand, you look at a kid like this and think 'how in the world could a parent give up such a precious child'? But on the other hand...maybe the Mother did the most loving thing she could do.

The fact remains nevertheless, that the kids that grow up in orphanages in Ukraine and in so many other places around the world have the deck stacked against them in so many ways. It may be better than nothing; it may be better than living at home where the mother is apparently unable to care for her. But the chances this kid has in life are slim at best.

Lana became my friend during a Camp here in Ukraine. At times it seemed like she liked playing with my Ipod or my Telephone more than she liked me. She pouted when I said "no". She got jealous when I gave attention to other kids. But time and again she sought me out to hold her hand while walking across campus. She would take me everywhere and tell the other kids "he understands a little Russian" (in Russian, of course!). Sometimes we were able to communicate with my childlike Russian abilities. And then there were times when it was OK not to say anything and we would just stare into one another's eyes.

It was during one of those moments when I was "inspired" to write a song. Understand...I've tried to write songs before and I've never...NEVER...been able to do it. But later that night, this one came to me. It's long and it's probably still a work in progress. The music is still pretty one-dimensional and needs some work. But here it is:

Today we laughed and we played
you were running after me
I wasn't trying to get away.
And as we grew tired
you climbed up on my knees
I was looking down at you
You were looking up at me.

And when I look in your eyes
this is what I see
I see a wounded little heart asking questions of me
Will I leave you like the others?
Will I forget what I see?
Will I remember your name?
Will I remember your needs?

When I look into your eyes
this is what I see
I see sweet little Jesus looking back at me.
I see doubts and fears
I see pain and needs
I see your longing for a family
I see your hopes and your dreams.

And as I stared deep into
the windows of your soul
the thought occurred to me that you were thinking too.

When you look in my eyes
I wonder what you see?
Is it a reflection of Jesus deep inside of me.
Do you see my Father's Heart?
Do you see the emptiness?
Me without you is as lonely as it gets.
Do you know the price I'd pay, to hold you in my arms.
Do you know how much I love you?
Do you know how much I see?

And then I started thinkin'
'bout how we're the same
I was once an orphaned soul
lookin' for my place.

Jesus when you look in my eyes
do you see what I see?
My doubts and fears, my pain and my needs?
Do you see me longing for a family?
Do you know my hopes and dreams?
Will you hold me in your arms and never let me go?

As surely as I sit here
you revealed your truth to me.
You opened up my eyes so that I could see.

Jesus, when I look in your eyes
this is what I see.
I see a Father's Heart embracing me.
I see love and forgiveness
I feel your tenderness
I know you're my redeemer, I know the price you paid.
I know you as a Daddy and I know you as a King.
You gave me your heart and your eyes to see.

Jesus when I look in your eyes
this is what I see
I see a Father's Heart embracing me.

Book Review: Scared: a Novel from the Edge of the World

I have an “Author” friend. He just released his 4^th book, his first novel. Tom Davis is his name. He’s a former Youth Minister and was one of the men that helped “steer” the 2007 World Race that I was a part of. I’ve known about his most recent project, SCARED: a Novel on the Edge of the World, since those “Race” days.

I excitedly pre-ordered my copy from Amazon before I left the States for Ukraine. In May, I noticed an opportunity to download the novel in PDF from the publisher so I’ve had the book in digital form for a couple months. I had been putting off reading it just because I don’t like reading 300+ pages on a computer screen. There’s nothing like curling up with a paperback, right? But I stayed in a comfortable hotel last night and with no English Language programs on TV I read SCARED. I’m glad I did. Today I’m ordering 5 copies for my church!

It’s about the plight of orphans and the plague of AIDS in Africa- in the tiny, beautiful country of Swaziland, in particular. Our Western mindset would have us believe AIDS is a homosexual disease. Thinking like that releases most of us from worrying about it because we don’t fall into a behavior category that puts us at risk. AIDS in Africa is no more a homosexual disease than the Potato Famine was a French Fry problem!

It’s complicated. Regardless of where it came from or how it started- there are forces at work in much of Africa that exacerbate the problem to Biblical proportions. Ignorance and lack of Education, lack of adequate healthcare and in more instances- just non-existent healthcare, myriad customs and traditions among myriad people groups that hinder communication, corrupt governments and all-talk-no-walk relief organizations, the kind of extreme poverty that we see on late night infomercials but have become anesthetized to, and then there are spiritual forces that can’t be easily explained to a Western thinker.

This is a biased book review. I admit it. I know Tom and I know his heart. His 2^nd and 3^rd non-fiction books (Confessions of a Good Christian Guy, Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds) were sort of run-of-the-mill to me. His first book however, Fields of the Fatherless, established him as a voice for Orphans. SCARED is Tom’s first novel and I think establishes him as a real-deal writer who makes a difference in the world. With the exception of the main character, photojournalist Stuart Daniels, SCARED reads like the front-page of today’s paper, or maybe more accurately, like the blogs of missionaries I know who are at this moment working in Swaziland.

I was gripped by it the same way I am when I read one of John Grisham’s novels set in Memphis, New Orleans, or all across Mississippi. Part of Grisham’s appeal to me is that I know these places, these names. The same was true for me reading SCARED. It’s set largely in Swaziland and I know these places. I know these names. I know these faces. So does Tom. Intimately. God is using his organization, Children’s Hopechest, to care for and keep alive thousands of orphans in that tiny country, raising them to be God’s answer to the crises in Africa.

I read the novel last night in one sitting. It is fast-paced and heart-breaking. It doesn’t preach; it simply tells a gut wrenching story convincingly. There’s courage and cowardice, humanity at its worst and at its best. There’s redemption and hope and inexplicable, unconsolable loss. I cried. I felt gritty-dirty. I felt anger. I felt like I could be fulfilled if I were in Swazi right now holding and feeding an orphaned child.

Read this book. When you turn the last page-stop and pray. Then immediately do something with your wealth- find a way to give- there are suggestions in the back of the book. Go to my friend Seth Barnes’ blogsite and click on the “Swaziland” tab. If you’re not affected by these stories then please see a doctor. You have a heart problem.

This won’t be a spoiler…another novel is in the works featuring the main character on assignment in Russian exposing the international child-sex trade. Children’s Hopechest has been there many years. Tom know’s whereof he writes about.

Still Camping...

Camp Friendship- Camp 1, Week 2- Tuesday, June 23.

If it weren’t for my dated “Utmost for His Highest” Journal I don’t think I’d have a clue what the day and date is. In a two+ week-long camp, the days definitely run together! My original plans were to work this camp and then join some friends near Kyiv to “experience” a couple of different camps. Right now I’m leaning towards just staying here at Camp Friendship until time to go back to the States at the end of July.

I mentioned in my last blog that there’s usually some sort of “stage program” from the kids in the evenings. Yesterday marked the anniversary of the “former Soviet Union’s” entry into World War 2 so there was a very nice, patriotic program last night that included testimony from a local woman in her 80’s that served during the War. World War 2 was not a good time for Ukraine (or Russia). Hitler was every bit as prejudiced and hateful towards the Slavic People as he was Jewish People. He was out for annihilation and extermination. As hard as WW2 was for America, it was a whole different ballgame to fight a war on your own turf; it was beyond brutal for everyone involved.

Last night we watched video and slide shows depicting what it was like during those years and then ended the night with our daily Slide Show from camp- it was a stark contrast. Add to that the fact that the kids were sitting in a pavilion that was once used to indoctrinate children into Communism, and that they were looking upon a stage that now has a mural of Jesus loving on children and the contrast is even greater.

To me it seems that this country- independent for less than 20 years- is still on the brink. The newfound freedom and democracy has yet to completely take root. Maybe it will; maybe it won’t. I don’t want to take the opportunity I have to be here for granted; I see it as a window of opportunity. A window through which the Lord is pouring out his blessings. Everyday I see a constant snow-fall of fuzzy seeds from the trees on campus and I am reminded of God’s grace being poured out and of seeds being planted in the hearts of these children. Their world is being changed, even for those that don’t know it yet.

Oh, and on another note: I just learned that my middle niece just had her second child- a little girl named Hazel. I now have 2 great-nieces and 5 great-nephews. And they are all Great! Congratulations Ashley and Eric.

Camp Friendship

Camp Friendship, June 16- somewhere in the middle of nowhere near Lugansk, Ukraine.
I am having a blast. And I am sore all over. I arrived at Camp Friendship about 4 days before the 1st Camp began with the intent of serving any way I could. I spent 3days cutting grass with a push mower and it was nearly “Mississippi” hot.

On Saturday, nearly 300 children ages 6-14ish arrived for Camp 1- it is two weeks long. There are probably 80 workers at this camp, most of them Ukrainian and most of them working in the Kitchen, the grounds, keeping the furnace going for hot water in the showers and laundry room, being Dorm Parents and Interpreters. A team of about 15 young people and a handful of adults from ServantLife in Birmingham are also staffing this Camp.

My “job” now that camp has begun is 1) clean the pool in the mornings, 2) work in the Camp store just before lunch, 3) Run the Frisbee Golf Course after lunch, 4) Be a Lifeguard at the Pool from 4-6 and when I’m not Lifeguarding, then I help with an English Class for 8 or 9 year old boys. During whatever free time I have that coincides with the kids’ free time, then I just hang out with kids. I think all of us “Americans” are connecting quickly with individual kids. I have about 4 that look for me every day to throw the Frisbee or play guitar or whatever.
While the weather was steamy hot the first few days here it has cooled off considerably. It’s beautiful during the day and downright cold at night. It’s nice!

The kids are kept pretty busy. We start our day with a Flag Ceremony and the Pledge of Allegiance at 8:15 followed by breakfast. From then until lunch the kids rotate between Bible Studies, Crafts and Music. After lunch is nap time for the little kids and organized recreation for the big kids. They have “semi” free-time after 3 pm- I say “semi” because there are several organized activities happening during this time- Frisbee Golf, Ultimate Frisbee, Futbol, Ping Pong, Volleyball, English Classes and other games and activities. Dinner is at 6:30. After that is a Worship Service, followed by games and competitions and a talent showcase from the kids. It rocks.

Coupe' Potluck- you never know what you're gonna get!

I went to Odessa this past weekend. Yeah, everything about living here is an adventure sometimes.

To begin with- just buying the train tickets. I feel like I'm becoming a Pro- but in fact, it's mostly luck and/or God's good grace. I just smile and nod like an idiot and somehow end up with the right tickets! This time, I was late getting to the train station and missed my train by about 2 minutes. There was another train leaving an hour later and I thought I could probably swap my ticket for a small fee...but while I was waiting in line (apparently looking like an American!) a guy approached me and offered to sell me a ticket for the next train. After haggling a bit, I bought it for about $1.25 more than what I paid for my original ticket...but then he wanted my old one. That's when I realized that he probably got the best of me- I presume he got at least a partial refund on my unused ticket. Oh well... it would have been a bear for me to communicate what I wanted anyway!

So... I left an hour later and arrived in Odessa at 9 am Saturday morning. I shared a "Coupe'"- a small room on the train with 4 bunks with a lady that appeared to be asleep when I boarded. It was a quiet trip to Odessa. Some friends with IMB met me (and gave me a place to stay) in Odessa. The world is getting smaller over here for sure: While I was staying with one IMB couple, I ran into two other couples that I know AND ran into two girls from the SEND School that were also visiting for the weekend (they were staying with one of the other IMB families).

The two highlights of the trip were visiting Maxim's church Sunday morning. Maxim is a Ukrainian youth minister I worked with way back in 2004 the first time I visited Ukraine. As is often the case when you visit one of the smaller churches in Ukraine, you get asked to "share"- so I shared some of my testimony. The other highlight was that Maxim and I both got in touch with my friend Katya and she and her baby sister came to church. After church, I walked them home and spent most of the day with her family (communicating in broken Russian, English and Charades!)

Back in 04 I brought a team of students from Bayou View to Odessa for a week. We conducted 2-3 Children's Bible Clubs per day! At one club, I fell in love with 2 little sisters and their brother (Katya, Vika and Yura). I got to see them last year when I visited Odessa and now that I live here, I want to stay in touch.


The final leg of the trip turned out to be the most "interesting". As I boarded the train home, I opened the door to my Coupe' and discovered three women- probably all early 50's. They didn't speak English and I knew just enough Russian to get them good and intriqued. It was pretty hilarious. I don't know if one of them was "crushing" on me, or if she was interested in me on her daughter's behalf. Her daughter speaks some English, so the mother called her daughter and put her on speaker phone and we got to know one another for about an hour before we lost cell phone reception. Some of the questions included: "How old are you?", "Are you married? Have children?", "Why not?", "What do you think of Ukrainian women?" (I remember getting that question in Swaziland too!) When they learned I work with the church and with children and teens and want to work with orphans, you would have thought they just opened a box of puppies!

So funny...it's probably a good thing I didn't catch all they were saying to one another...I would hear "Mississippi", "Clinton"...and then they'd all get silly laughing.