on the go

I've spent the last 2 weekends on the road.  Good trips.  Last weekend I went with our Pastor and a couple other guys from church to a youth conference near Ivano-Frankivsk, about 4 hours away.  As best as I can tell there were about 6 area churches involved for the one day event.  I wasn't entirely sure what my role was leading up to the event but I was prepared to preach if needed and I knew I was going to present the Introduction to our Youth Ministry Strategy to a group of leaders.  Sure enough, I preached the opening session.  It went alright I guess.  That afternoon I presented our strategy to a room full of youth workers from 5-6 churches.  I thought it went really well.  I know one of the churches is really interested in contracting with us to Coach them but I think money is a little bit of an issue.  And another church that was at the event sent some of their workers to the other conference I attended this past weekend.

This past weekend, the Ukrainian organization I work for- Ruka Dopomogy- sponsored a regional youth leaders training event in Lviv.  Lviv is supposedly the most European city in Ukraine.  The little bit I saw was beautiful.  I'm hoping to go back one weekend soon and just visit.  At the conference I preached on Friday night and then I taught two workshops on "How to Plan a Mission Trip" on Saturday.  We offered 3 different "tracks" for youth workers so there was a variety of things happening.  We had a couple different church worship bands leading worship and they were really good!

A highlight of the weekend was staying with a Ukrainian family.  So...I was staying with the "In Laws" of the brother of one of our partner Youth Ministers.  Got that?  It's easier if I name names.  Ivan is the brother, I was staying with his wife's parents.  Ivan and his wife have a 2 year old girl.  His wife's mother also has a 2 year old girl.  The little Aunt and Niece could almost be twins.  SO CUTE!

On Saturday morning, the Ukraine Director for A21 (an international anti-trafficking organization) spoke.  She presented some great information; I hope we get some good feedback from that.  It's such an important topic here.  One of the crazy statistics she presented was that 80% of repatriated trafficking victims (those who were originally trafficked to another country and eventually sent back to Ukraine) are re-trafficked.  How tragic!  And I bet the number is even higher for victims of domestic trafficking.

I took some pictures but forgot my camera this morning so I'll to post again later this week.  This should be a relatively slow week for me and I'm hoping to nail down some appointments and details because I'm receiving a World Race Team next week!!

Hey Supporters...this is for YOU!

I spent the better part of last year raising support.  It was hard work.  I enjoyed spending time with every person I met with, but the actual “ask” was always hard.  Sometimes I’d spend weeks getting up the courage to make an appointment with someone.  I was behind schedule throughout the process.  I would set goals for myself for the number of people I would contact or for the amount of money I wanted to have coming in at the end of the month and time and time again I would find myself behind the 8-ball.

But then last November it started looking realistic.  And here I am.  Not only am I in Ukraine, but I’m receiving a regular salary for the first time since December of 2006!!!!

It feels good.

And it feels different.  

Receiving a paycheck has never been like this before!  In the past, I felt like earned a paycheck for the job “I” had done.  This is different.  I’m not being paid for what “I” do but because of what YOU do!

I’ve never been so aware of where my salary comes from than I am now.  I’ve never been more cognizant of my responsibility as a Steward of God’s gifts than I am right now.

A few times a month I check my online account to keep track of the “flow” and each time I am humbled by the fact that my friends and family are paying me to do what I love doing!

I have a line-item in my budget for “Giving”.  It’s built it into my budget.  It’s not my money.  It’s money you’ve given me to bless others.    

Most of what I’ve learned about generosity, I learned from Kim.  But being here, dependent on your financial gift, has heightened my awareness for how blessed it is to give.  My goal is to empty my “Giving” budget every month.  So, your gift to me is a gift of education for a child in Haiti, it’s a gift that helps pay the bills and support a Pastor here in Ukraine that probably makes less than I do, it’s a box of Capri Sun for random Roma kids that hit me up for money on the street.  I give because you first gave to me. 

But it’s not only my “Giving” Budget that you’re giving to.  You’re covering everything!  It brings tears to my eyes.  When I pay my Rent that’s all YOU!  When I buy a Coke and a Twix, that’s all YOU!  I mean, I know I asked you to help, but some days I wonder how in the heck can you love me that much?

So Thank You.  I’m loving being here.  I’m loving the connection I have with you through the gifts you’ve given and your prayers for me.  I hope you feel some connection too. 

I don’t know if I’m changing the world by being here.  Mostly, I think I’m just being “me” and living in Ukraine at the same time.  It’s not as convenient to live here as it is back in the States.  Most days I only have one item on my “To Do” list and I’m content if I can check-off that one item.  But most days I feel like that one item matters.

Yesterday my one item was to visit a Pastor I met the day after I arrived.  He and his wife have opened their home as a foster home of sorts.  They’ve taken in about a dozen kids and he operates a Street Kid Center and feeds street kids on the weekends. 

Yesterday I got to hear one of the kids’ stories firsthand.  What she’s been through is remarkable, where she’s headed because of God’s intervention through this Pastor is even more remarkable.  I’m praying about helping support his Soup Kitchen (and volunteering with him)…and that’s all YOU! 

In about an hour I’m meeting with one of 3 or 4 kids who want to practice English and learn a little guitar.  I bought a Guitar with your money!  It seems to be opening doors for me pretty regularly to hang-out with some kids (and also help lead worship with our youth group).  That’s YOU!

It’s God working through YOU!

Six Years Ago

Six years ago I was planning a Spring Break trip to Sipsey and a Christmas trip to Ukraine.

Six years ago I thought that Wednesday was like any other Wednesday.  I was thinking about our youth group worship service, not our last conversation together.

Six years ago I thought we had at least another year together.

Six years ago I couldn’t comprehend it when the Doctors said it was her last time in the hospital.

Six ago I spent 4 nights second-guessing her decisions, my decisions, and the Doctors’ decisions.

Six years ago I was numb.

Six years ago I knew that Sunday would be her last.

Six years ago I didn’t think it would happen so quickly. 

Six years ago I thought I understood brokenness and loss.

Six years ago I couldn’t cry when it felt like that’s what I was supposed to do.

Six years ago I had the world by the tail. 

Six years ago I thought I was ready.

Six years ago I had almost everything anyone could ever want.

Six years ago people thought I was a hero for how I walked through it.

Six years ago I felt smothered; suffocated.

Six years ago I sang “…you give and take away, blessed be your name.” 

Six years ago I knew I had loved well.  And completely.  But I wished I’d done better.

Six years ago I held her hand and brushed her hair.

Six years later and sometimes I feel like I’ll never be the same.  I don’t think I’m supposed to be the same.  But I’m not sure what I’m supposed to feel.  If feels like what was, was as good as it gets. 

Maybe I'm just paranoid....

Last week I visited Kyiv to help coach a church in our youth ministry strategy.  While I was in town I met with two different leaders of Anti-Trafficking organizations.  Both were productive meetings.  I really appreciate what both ministries are doing although it appears to me that there's still not a lot of cooperation between ministries or even awareness that other ministries exist and what they are doing.  I know some people have tried to bridge that gap but it seems that working together here is harder than it is back in the States.

In any case, after the 2nd meeting last Wednesday, I was traveling across town on the Metro (Subway) to meet another friend.  The train was crowded as usual and I was standing...trying to maintain my balance and make sure I was aware of my wallet at all times!  Across from me were seated three young people.  Probably late teens, early 20's.  From left to right- a guy, a girl, another girl.  I couldn't hear their conversation and even if I could have, I probably wouldn't have understood all of it.  But here's how my imagination filled in missing parts:



The guy and the other girl were trying hard to talk the girl in the middle into something.  He was constantly leaning into her and...almost, consoling her?  You know how when you're gently pushing on someone physically and saying, "come on!"  The other girl was doing the same thing.  The girl in the middle looked a little distraught the whole time, like she was having a hard time making a decision. I never did see her sit back and relax.  She was leaning forward the whole time.  She didn't look scared, just confused.  At one point, the guy pulled out his Passport.  I didn't think it unusual for a Ukrainian to carry a Passport since most people carry their "papers" with them at all times.  The other girl took the Passport and started showing it to the girl in the middle.  I could see that he had several pages of stamps.  That, I thought, was a little bit unusual.  With the exception of traveling to CIS countries (former Soviet countries- Commonwealth of Independent States), it's fairly difficult for Ukrainians to travel abroad.  Anyway, the other girl was showing the girl in the middle all the stamps in the guys Passport and she appeared to be interested.  She perked up.

Maybe this is where my imagination/paranoia really gets going.  But in both of my meetings with Anti-Trafficking leaders we talked the two biggest ploys for trafficking women.  1) Promise of high paying jobs in other countries and 2) Being "charmed/seduced" by a boyfriend.  In fact, it's pretty common for formerly trafficked women to be used as recruiters for new girls.

In my imagination that's what was happening on the train in front of me.  The guy and the other girl were trying to talk the girl into something she was unsure about that involved traveling out of the country.  I could be wrong of course.  It was the day before International Women's Day...maybe they were encouraging her to go to a party with them; maybe they were trying to set-up a blind date with a friend.  I don't know.

But in that moment, when they were looking at the Passport, a thought, no, an idea, entered my mind.  At that moment, I wish I'd had a brochure to give the girl in the middle.  On the front cover: DO YOU LIKE TO TRAVEL? with cool pictures of exciting places in the world in the background.  On the inside: BE CAREFUL! and then several paragraphs explaining the problem of trafficking followed by descriptions of those two big ploys that traffickers use.  On the back panel: Contact Information for several ministries- who to call to check out the legitimacy of a job offer, who to call if you suspect trafficking, etc.

And in keeping with my policy of not reinventing a wheel...maybe someone already has published a pamphlet like that.  If not, then I'd like to see it happen and made available to any ministry that wants to use it- just customize the back panel, print and use as needed.

Ministry Friends in Ukraine.  Has anyone published a pamphlet like that?  If not, do you think it's a good idea?

My days are getting full

Well, actually some days are full and others not.  But I like the view of my "year" calendar.  It's looking pretty full.