Six years ago I was planning a Spring Break trip to Sipsey and a Christmas trip to Ukraine
Six years ago I thought that Wednesday was like any other Wednesday. I was thinking about our youth group worship service, not our last conversation together.
Six years ago I thought we had at least another year together.
Six years ago I couldn’t comprehend it when the Doctors said it was her last time in the hospital.
Six ago I spent 4 nights second-guessing her decisions, my decisions, and the Doctors’ decisions.
Six years ago I was numb.
Six years ago I knew that Sunday would be her last.
Six years ago I didn’t think it would happen so quickly.
Six years ago I thought I understood brokenness and loss.
Six years ago I couldn’t cry when it felt like that’s what I was supposed to do.
Six years ago I had the world by the tail.
Six years ago I thought I was ready.
Six years ago I had almost everything anyone could ever want.
Six years ago people thought I was a hero for how I walked through it.
Six years ago I felt smothered; suffocated.
Six years ago I sang “…you give and take away, blessed be your name.”
Six years ago I knew I had loved well. And completely. But I wished I’d done better.
Six years ago I held her hand and brushed her hair.
Six years later and sometimes I feel like I’ll never be the same. I don’t think I’m supposed to be the same. But I’m not sure what I’m supposed to feel. If feels like what was, was as good as it gets.
