Another Step Forward

I mentioned last week that I'm looking for an umbrella! An organization to go to Ukraine with.

I think I've found that organization. It's still too early to make an announcement... but all the paperwork has been submitted. The organization is waiting for my Medical Exam report, Background Check and probably waiting for references to be returned.

The process is like this: Once all the paperwork is complete, then their Board of Directors will "Pre-Approve" me for service in Ukraine pending a final interview/orientation during a 5-day training session at their office here in Mississippi.

The Good & The Bad.

Bad First: Assuming I'm approved after the training session, which is the last week of October, then I'll only have 2 months to raise financial support.

The Good. I love their philosophy about being a "Mission Sending Agency". Technically, they don't see themselves as a Mission Sending Agency. They want the local church to be the Sender and they want to a Servant to both the Missionary and the Church. I like that. My home church, Bayou View Baptist Church in Gulfport, is supportive and on-board.

My church will be the anchor of my prayer support and Pastoral support. They will probably also take care of the yearly administrative fees needed by the Mission Agency. Finally, they will be encouraged to support me by sending teams or individuals for short-term trips.

The "Agency" will serve me by providing guidance from their 38 years of experience as well as all the necessary financial services during my deputation period. They will serve the church by providing opportunities for short-term trips.

So there ya go! If you have any "in's" for finding an apartment in the Poznyaky or Kharkovsky area in Kiev be sure and let me know. Russian Language School begins January 12; I plan to be there about January 7th or 8th. Lord willing.

a friend expresses her heart...

A friend of mine wrote the following blog in reference to what's going on between Russian and Georgia. I won't pretend to know everything that's going on in that part of the world; suffice to say that I'm sure it's more complicated that it seems. It's probably impossible to really know who did what based on US News reports alone. That being said- I agree with my friend- I am saddened and ashamed at how the US has become such a self-serving paper tiger. I can't imagine how our other "friends" in the region feel now- other countries that must feel all alone in the shadow of Russia knowing that the US can't be counted on to do anything unless her own oil-starved self interest are served.

With Friends Like These...

I am sorry, Nino, Sophia, and Davit, that my country stands idly by as yours is brutally raped by the bully living at your border.

I am sorry that your plight is buried beneath front page headlines of an overpublicized political race and college football training.

I am sorry that my President continues to chuckle and chat at the Olympic games with the scheming bully of a leader who is presently sending his army tearing across your borders.

I am sorry that you thought our friendship was such that it would merit a response worthy of what you’ve selflessly given us.

I am sorry that what my country stands for is being blown away by an Eastern wind to reveal that it is nothing cheap talk and worthless conviction.

I am sorry that your inspiring democracy stands alone against a tyrant and that the organization you so courageously attempted to join pretends barely notice.

I am sorry that your sovereignty is so shamefully compromised by the country above you who knows nothing save greed for power and energy.

I am sorry that bombs kill your children and destruction threatens your beautiful capital.

I am sorry that America offers only to fly your brave troops home and add none of its own.

I am sorry that I can do nothing but wish in vain that my country would step in and stand by one of its most proven allies.

I am sorry and I am shamed. And I pray for you all.

CRAZY! Close a door; open a door

My head is spinning.

I closed the last door this morning; leaving only one option.

I thought.

I withdrew my name from consideration for the job in Birmingham. I shut that door.

The remaining option is to go to Ukraine. That's what I'm going to do. I'll be there, Lord willing, by January 12, 2009.

Simple, right?

Not so fast!

Now I need to find a suitable umbrella. I know, I know...if that's all that's holding me back, you'll give me yours. Thanks. But that's not what I'm talking about.

I mentioned in an earlier blog that I know better than to just go to Ukraine entirely on my own. I need to go "under" someone's care, of sorts. I need an umbrella. An organization I can affiliate with. Preferably someone that will give me a lot of lattitude in developing a ministry that suits my strengths, someone that will collect and sort tax-deductible donations (I will have to raise financial support to do this!), someone that will not leave me hanging out there all alone but will also not dictate to me what I'm supposed to be doing all the time.

I recognize my need to have some spiritual authority over me as well as financial and emotional accountability.

So, now that I'm settled on going to Ukraine... I have to find the right organization to go with!

I'm Skeered

It's official. Derek Webb's 2004 CD, "The House Show" has surpassed all other albums and songs on my IPOD Play Count. That means I've played it over and over and over more than anything else in the last year and half.

If you don't already own the CD then you're missing out on an all-time-classic. I think I bought the CD soon after it was released in'04 and then promptly gave it to someone in The 605 Band as was my habit back in the day.

I don't remember when I bought it on ITunes but at some point last year during The World Race I listened to it for the first time in a long time and since then I've listened to it repeatedly.

In addition to amazing songs, there's amazing commentary interspersed throughout the CD in the form of "introductions" to the various songs. I thought about transcribing them...but that's a lot of work so here's a summary.

In his "Intro to Nobody Loves Me", Derek tells the story of the reformer Martin Luther and how his congregation grumbled because it seemed to them that he preached "the Gospel" week after week. Luther's reason was that every week they forgot it! That week after week they came into church looking like people that didn't believe the Gospel. Derek Webb's own confession is that he too forgets the Gospel. He says in his "Intro to I Repent" that he needs to hear the Gospel and we need to tell it to one another because by the time he goes to sleep at night he's not going to believe it again. And he said in his "Intro to Wedding Dress",

". . . II don’t believe the Gospel . . . um . . .I don’t believe that Christ is really sufficient for me, I don’t believe that he’ll really meet all my needs, um, I don’t. I struggle . . . to believe that…um, ok, and you can see that by the way I live. Um and because I don’t believe that I all too often, um “give in”, am convinced or wooed by what some theologians have called “lovers less wild” than Jesus, the Great Lover of our Souls. Other lovers as Scripture calls them as well that would seek to convince us they can satisfy us, uh, convince us that they um can safely bear our sin, that we’ll be safe and secure um that they can satisfy us in ways that in fact only our Savior can."

So why all the commentary about The House Show? Because I can relate so much right now in my life. Particularly in the area of trusting God to meet my needs. To be with me wherever I go. To speak to me and lead me. I don't believe it. My hesitancy in moving on in ministry is testimony to that fact. It's really easy to hide behind being busy. It's easy to hide behind "research" and "making plans" to go overseas.

You see, I can wake up trusting Him and can sit and write a killer ministry plan and before I go to bed at night I'm second guessing and discovering contingencies I hadn't thought of before.

Even though going overseas seems like the next logical step for me; a place my "spiritual markers" seem to be pointing me to the fact is: It's a step I'm scared to take.

The good news is this: I was scared to jump off the Stari Most Bridge in Bosnia too. I just stood there for the longest. People were beginning to wonder if I was actually going to do it. I had to pray. I had to think about it. I had to gather up my courage. And then . . .without notice or warning . . . I jumped. I don't know what made the moment "right". It was just time.